February 14th is
Valentine’s Day
Before you dye the shoes to match the dress, send out the
wedding invitations or buy that $2,000 wedding dress, make sure this is the
right person to grow old with in marriage. Life is too short and there is no
reason to settle for what you really don’t want. When you truly know your
worth, there is no need to accept less than what you deserve. Look within and
ask these 10 questions:
1. Where is this
going?
Living in the "now" is great, but eventually the
partnership will need a plan or someone will begin to feel anxious. Are you
checking in with one another and aware of the other person's expectations?
2. Do I really trust
my partner?
For some, the immediate response to this can be devastating.
If you're one of them, it's time to ask why and how you can begin to build or
rebuild trust. Without it, there's no chance.
3. Am I with a good
person?
Knowing what you know about your partner today, would you
vouch for them if they were a friend?
4. Am I attracted to
my partner?
Physical attraction is hardly the most important component
in a relationship, but forcing yourself to be in a relationship with someone
who you're not attracted to — just because it's comfortable or "perfect on
paper" isn't fair to anyone. You will feel resentful and they will feel
rejected.
5. Am I a parent or a
partner?
Taking care of someone you love is a great thing to do, but
when you feel like you're raising a boyfriend — or worse, a husband — things
get a little complicated. You'll resent his childish ways. Who wants to sleep
with their mom?
6. Does my partner
have my back?
Do you feel like you're a part of a loyal team who stands up
for one another, supports one another, and shows a united front (even when the
other is not around)? Or, do you feel like you're constantly being thrown under
the bus by your mate?
7. Are we looking in
the same direction?
Some couples avoid having the big talks (religion, marriage,
babies) because they think that, somehow, these things will just "work
themselves out". By the time they realize they won't, they're in a
complicated, painful situation that leaves one (or both) feeling a little bit
duped. If you want kids and your partner thinks you're both "living in the
now" and fine with the status quo you're both doing yourselves and one
another a disservice (and wasting time).
8. Are we growing
together?
Being a human being living on this earth, we all have a
right to grow and develop, and create a full life for ourselves. Are you and
your partner still indulging in your passions (individual and shared) and
growing as individuals?
9. Am I still me?
Being in love with someone should not require changing our
identity to fit someone else's idea of who we should be, on any level.
10. What is my gut
telling me?
Do you feel like this relationship is healthy and moving at
a healthy pace in a positive direction? You have intuition for a reason. Listen
to yourself.
